When visions don't materialize the way your mind sees them...

I found this great picture online and decided I wanted one like it of Xander. Fortunately for me I know people. Smart people. People who know how to knit. Thanks Molly!

I kidnapped Xander for a couple of hours this afternoon so his mommy could nap. Okay that was a feeble excuse. I'm glad she was able to nap and all that, but I took him so I could have him all to myself for a couple of hours.

I hauled out my black velvet cape for a back drop and set up the scene.

Xander doesn't care too much for being naked so I tucked him into his little knit womb with just a diaper on and cuddled him to get him settled. Then I whipped the diaper off. Only to realize it was pooped! I wiped most of it off with the diaper and left him laying in his little womb on the blanket on the velvet cape on the floor while I ran for a warm cloth and things to clean him up.

I returned to find that he'd peed all over the knit bunting bag and himself and the cape. I snapped a couple of quick pics. Somehow they are not quite as professional looking as the image I'd stolen from the internet.

By this time baby was wet and cold and crying. I grabbed the nearest blanket from his car seat and wrapped him up to snuggle him and warm him up. As I headed towards the bedroom, where the diaper bag was, he let go with the biggest poop the young child has produced in his two weeks of life.

As it was oozing through the blanket onto my hand I scrambled around to haul out the baby bathtub, towel and other necessary accessories. I knew there was no sense removing the blanket until I was ready to dunk him.

Of course it leaked through onto his towels and I had to start over finding more. I wiped most of it off with the already poo-stained blanket and set him into the water.

Xander doesn't care too much for water yet. And when he opened his mouth to scream, his nubby (soother, pacifer - whatever term you use) fell into the water. Water that had chunks of poo floating in it. I could not plug it back into his mouth without first sterilizing it, so I had to let him howl.

I managed to get him all clean and dry and smelling so yummy like newborns do. And I flopped into the recliner with Xander snuggled into a blanket, and I took a look around me. I had wet and dirty clothes and diapers spread across my bed, all over the living room floor and through to the kitchen where there was a pile of pooped-on blankets sitting next to the full bathtub sitting on the counter beside all the bottles of Johnson's baby lotion and bath stuff.

And life is good.

I'll try again with the photo shoot tomorrow - after I do laundry.