Historically, I blog on New Year's Eve about the comings and goings of my life during the previous year. I abandoned my annual ritual last year, knowing that I was moving into a new phase in life and looking forward to a New Beginning.
However, then came 2020...
It kinda turned out to be a blog-worthy year. Even people who don't normally do such things are debriefing and trying to make sense of it. And many people who do are dropping f-bombs and using phrases like "the year from hell" and "worst year in modern history."
And to be sure, it was a year that rocked everyone's comfy lives to the core. And even those who didn't have comfy lives to begin with were shaken up. Perhaps even more so.
But I'm sitting over here in my little corner evaluating 2020, and be like ... hmm... I kinda feel bad about not feeling sh!tty about this bizarre year.
One of the reasons I do this annual ritual of recounting the events of my past year is to take stock of my life and help me count my blessings. And I often go back, even years later, and reread my New Year's Eve blogs to remind myself how blessed I am. I find it therapeutic. And grounding.
So here's my attempt at therapeutic grounding for 2020:
January started off quiet enough. JimE and I had been 'seeing each other' for about a month. We'd been hanging out, with our respective spouses, for about 30 years. And over the past year and a bit been hanging together as best friends working through our common double grief after losing both Barbee and Albert. But things unexpectedly had taken a more intimate turn in December.
Neither of us entered into this relationship with a casual "let's just have fun and see where it takes us" attitude. We knew if we pursued a relationship it would be with the guidance of Jesus and a goal of making it work for the long haul. And we both felt it was a good and right thing to pursue.
Breaking the news to our kids, family and friends was another thing altogether. We felt like Jed would be a shoe-in. (That's an odd phrase. I know what it means but not sure how it came to be a phrase - maybe I'll Google it someday.) But we were unsure how any of the rest would take it. It had only been about 14 months since losing Albert. Everyone was still grieving his loss - JimE and I included.
I wanted to have a chat with Brandi first.
Jim and Sherry attended a conference in Vancouver in January and they dropped Jed and I off in Kamloops for the weekend on their way. I wanted to have the convo with her. The opportunity never arose. But it was a fun trip and we felt like sneaky teenagers - holding hands on the sly so Sherry and Jed didn't notice. Or maybe secretly hoping we'd get caught.
February brought more rumblings worldwide about the Corona virus and fears were mounting, but for the most part we felt oblivious and unaffected. However, I did order a 50-pack of black disposable masks from Amazon thinking I may need them in the airport in March for my planned trip to Maui. Masks were so back-ordered they never arrived.
JimE and I began house hunting.
In September, as part of my 'moving forward' I knew I would be selling my house and getting something new. I had chosen a unit in Ridgewood Landing in University Heights and put my name on it, but it was in phase 5 of the development and wasn't yet available for purchase and building. It was a two bedroom townhouse end unit with a single garage. While Jim was willing to adapt to this if I had my heart set on it, it wasn't ideal for the two of us.
We weren't officially engaged - heck, still no one knew we were in a relationship. But we began looking at houses, both online and going to open houses. We drove around neighbourhoods checking out homes and empty lots. We bought extra tickets on the Spruce Kings fabulous lottery house.
It was actually really fun to have these quiet secret times together and I believe it really helped us to set a good foundation for our relationship without pressures or expectations from others knowing what we were up to.
We did a lot of snowshoeing and skating in January and February. Maeve and I had gotten new skates and she often accompanied us on our skate dates. I took her skating one day, just her and I. She asked where Jim was. "Oh, do you like it when he comes skating with us?" I asked, hoping for a positive response and unsure how my heart would take a negative one. "Oh, I just expect to see him. I've gotten used to him being around," her response. Yeah, me too Maeve, me too. And hoping everyone else feels the same.
We did lots of walks hand-in-hand in the neighbourhood. Again, feeling like sneaky teenagers wondering when someone was gonna drive by and 'out us'.
I had a trip to Maui planned for March 6th with Brandi, Kore, the girls and I meeting Jennifer & Andy there. Jen and Andy were both celebrating milestone birthdays this year. Gaylene and Tyler's family were also going to celebrate G's milestone birthday. And of course Sherry and Dwayne already live there. It was gonna be a big party week, but still I was hopeful that B and I would get some quiet time together to have 'the conversation'. It didn't happen.
And Covid came to Canada while we were there and we got the last flight out of Maui before flights started being cancelled.
I arrived home amid the toilet paper crisis. And was required to quarantine for 14 days.
Jed had been staying at Jim's as it was spring break and Devin (his home share provider) was also away. Anyway, long story short, because Jed and Jim were hanging with me in my quarantine, we decided to keep Jed at Jims' for the full two weeks time, even though Devin had returned. And then with much of the world going into full lockdown, I felt it best for Jed to come stay at my house for a few weeks until we saw where all this was going.
By April life was starting to settle into the 'new normal' and Jed went back home. But with the Dome, the mall and many other things that Jed had been involved in being shut down, he still came and hung out with us every.single.day.
Church had been cancelled and I began attending 'Zoom Church" at the Well with Jim. I really missed taking the kids to Sunday School. And they missed regular school too, having been forced into homeschooling since spring break.
By mid April I was able to finally have a nice girl-talk phone call with Brandi who was now for the first time a stay-at-home mom with the girls home from school and daycare. I cannot express enough my gratitude for her response to hearing that Jim and I had taken our relationship to the next level. She was thrilled and supportive. And one by one, as we had the chat with the rest of our children, we were met with the same response: complete joy and excitement for us. We felt so so very blessed as our friends and family all responded so favourable.
All but one.
It's entirely possible that some people shook their heads or gossiped, but we never heard or felt any of it. But the only difficult reaction we got was from Jed. The one person we felt was a shoe in. It took him a while to get his head wrapped around the situation. But we thank God that within a few weeks he had completely come to accept it and began to organize our wedding and make all sorts of plans for us. :)
While we had already been house hunting and planning a wedding for December 12th we didn't 'officially' become engaged until April 23. (Ask me about the necklace sometime. ) And even at this time, there were many people who weren't aware that we were in a relationship. Mom Ziemer included. With all care homes being in full lockdown, we were unable to go see her. And we wanted to tell her in person.
On April 26 she succumbed to a stroke. And she got to learn the news when she entered the gates of heaven.
The month of May saw us setting up camp at Bednesti Lake Resort. We feel so blessed to have what we consider to be the very best site on the entire property. What a fantastical view of the lake we have in a private double lot with room for both trailers and space galore.
By the end of May it was clear there would not be gatherings of more than 50 for a very long time. We decided to marry on August 3 with 50 of our closest family and friends.
Brandi and the girls came up at the beginning of June for a visit, with the plan for me to keep the girls for a couple of weeks before taking them home. However, I was called in for hernia surgery on the 10th of June, so B stayed for an extended visit and was here when I went into hospital. What a great blessing.
I had a spigelian hernia, which is apparently rather rare and required absolutely zero lifting for 3 months. Oh yay. So fun to plan an August wedding when you can't do anything.
We managed to squeeze in a quick trip to see Kyle's family in Chilliwack in June when we picked up a new Ikea kitchen for Jim's house. The hardest part of the COVID situation for us has been not being able to spend as much time with our kids and grandkidlets.
Since I was unable to lift or do anything, when we returned from Chilliwack I took Jed and headed off to Kamloops for Bea's Kinder-grad, which was essentially a private pool party with her one kindergarten friend in her bubble.
And with 12 hours notice that I was coming, Brandi managed to pull off a very lovely little bridal shower for me... complete with a visit from Uncle Chris the Clown, whom I had wanted to invite to our wedding. I laughed way harder than my surgeon recommended less than 3 weeks out of surgery.
While overall, summer 2020 was pretty wet and dismal, August 3rd was a beautiful sunny day. And we could not have asked for a better day to commit ourselves to each other before God and 49 dear ones. No, we didn't get to rent a fancy hall. No, we didn't get our spectacular party for 175 people. No, we didn't get to honeymoon in Maui.
But what a fabulous time we had at our casual and intimate special wedding day with a New Beginnings theme and a roaring 20's flavour - appropriate since we are back in the 20's again. And we hung at Bednesti, including time with our children, for the week following. We are so blessed. We truly are.
September saw us officially hiring Jake Eberle Construction to build our new home after choosing a plan by Jenish Homes and having it altered to suit our needs. Well, our wants more than our needs, I suppose.
And it was about this time we discovered that the large deck on my house was completely rotting due to longterm unnoticed water damage. What a huge labour intensive job for Jim and his co-hort John to tear down and rebuild. An expense I wasn't anticipating as I prepare this house for a spring sale. I'm so grateful for JimE's knowledge and expertise that made this a much less complicated financial burden than it could have been.
November 2nd they broke ground on our lot and within a week had the basement walls built and poured and backfilled. Things came to a grinding slowdown as they waited for floor trusses and such. The combination of COVID protocols and the incredible boom in construction in this town have slowed production down. But they managed to get the main floor on and tarp things in to get the basement warmed up and poured. Then it had a few weeks to cure with a large heater unit hanging from a chain and hooked to our gas meter that was whirring around fast enough to create a little heat on its own. It'll be an interesting first Fortis bill I'm sure.
We planned to 'do the loop' in November to visit the kids in Chilliwack then up to Kamloops to see the kids there and check out Brandi and Kore's new condo at SunPeaks. But Fraser Health went into lock down and we were unable to make that portion of the trip. That was so disappointing.
But we are grateful we managed to squeeze in those days in Kamloops before the entire province went into lock down. Which ultimately resulted in the cancellation of 'Connolly Christmas' as planned with all my family this year. Another big disappointment and unexpected change of plans.
Christmas was quietly filled with more blessings including JimE installing a bidet toilet for me. I've always wanted one and the great toilet paper scarcity of the spring convinced me more.
Not much action happened at the new house in December until the 28th when things began to fly together. What fun to watch the daily progress. And the shingling team is scheduled for January 4th.
We, like so many others, have no big New Year's Eve plans and will probably consume a charcuterie board and a bottle of wine sometime around 9pm and call it a night. Or rather, call it a year.
And tomorrow we will pack up the Christmas tree, put Mary and Joseph away and toss out the remains of leftover turkey dinner. And carry on...
Truly, if I chose to, I could have filled this entire blog with disappointments, restrictions, conspiracy theories and fears, for surely 2020 has been filled with them. I won't pretend they didn't happen. I acknowledge them. But I refuse to let them rule me when this year has also been so filled with blessing upon blessing.
Unlike many, I won't be kicking 2020 in the ass on the way out the door. But I do welcome 2021, hoping I am prepared for what's in store.
I should be good. I got Jesus and JimE at my side. And I'm prepared for life without toilet paper if necessary.
