Friday, August 19, 2011

Hey, we've met you before!

A few weeks ago I was digging through some stuff in the basement and came across three swords left over from centre pieces from Ken and Jade's wedding.

They looked pretty spectacular as a centre piece. (If you forget how fabulous this wedding was CLICK HERE)

While they looked great as centre pieces, thank God no one at the wedding discovered that they had flashing LED lights and made horrendously annoying sounds.

I put them in the outside toybox. Jade wasn't too excited about Xander having weapons as toys so I figured it was only a matter of time before they made their way into the trash bin.

As I was walking home from a little visit down the street with X and his parents tonight, I caught sight of three relatively-new-to-the-neighbourhood kids running out of my driveway and across the road to the park with the said LED lights and annoying noises waving wildly as they swung at each other in mock battle.

"Little buggers!" I thought while similtaneously thinking, "Yes! I hope their parents enjoy them."

I picked up the scattered toys on the back deck and mentally took casual inventory, noting that nothing else seemed to be missing. I swept off the deck and left the door open as I was returning the broom to the kitchen.

I could hear the children returning.

Rather than greet them at the top of the stairs to the deck, as a good neighbour would, I decided to stand behind a doorway in the back hall to eavesdrop.

Apparently they were returning the swords. Damn.

"Don't go in the house." I hear one of three warn the others.

"But the door is open."

"No one is here.... Helloooo?" They stepped foot inside.

I could contain myself no longer. I stepped into the back hallway, "Hi!" I said slightly loud and forceful, secretly hoping to scare the bejezus out of them.

"Hello," they replied as if I had been expecting them to arrive. They handed me the swords. "These are yours."

I resisted saying, "No shit!"

Instead, I calmly instructed them that they shouldn't be going in people's yards when they aren't home. Borrowing toys without permission is the same as stealing. I really wanted to go into a rant about the police coming to arrest them but they cut me off with, "Can we go down the green slide?" while pointing to the very cool slide that goes from the deck to the back yard.

"Sure." I answered.

"How many times?"

"You can use it a few times. But you shouldn't be using it if no one is home." My nagging trailed off while they ran off to play in the neighbour's (who weren't home) yard.

I noticed they left a trigger style garden hose nozzle laying in my back yard.

Forty five minutes later I could hear them playing in my front yard. "Here. Hold these branches back to make a doorway to the secret cave...."

I knew they were playing under my weeping birch. I can't say I blame them. It's a pretty cool place. I've even been known to crawl under there myself on occasion.

I went to the front door, "Come out from under the tree, please!" (I think I said "please". Perhaps I didn't.)

"I think it's time for you kids to go home and play in your own yard."

"But... we've met you before!" the eldest, approximately six-year-old, exclaims.

"Yes. Yes, I know you have." I said, and finished the sentence in my head, "Just because you've previously trespassed doesn't give you the right to take my toys home and destroy my trees."

But off they toddled to the yard of the neighbour two doors down and climbed their small tree and played there for another half hour till one of them got hurt and they scurried across the road towards home.

To their credit they returned a handful of toys to my next door neighbour before leaving.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Word of the day: wrinkly

Finally! Summer arrived along with the month of August. Today is the 4th and it's the first time this year we have been able to fill the kiddie pool so Xander could go swimming.

He swam until his hands got wrinkly then tried to "wash" his hands in the water to get the wrinkly off. I explained that the wrinkly came from the water. So he picked up his pool and dumped it - there will be no more wrinkly!

After sitting wrapped in towel eating a snack for a while X held out his hands to me and said "The wrinkly is all gone!"

I replied, "Thank you Jesus for bringing Xander's hands back to normal."

Xander's little eyes darted to the left. Then to the right. Then he looked inquiringly at me, "Where is him?"

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Word of the day: noise bylaw

About 1 o'clock in the morning after sitting in the marvelous apres-hot-tub summer air, while sippin' red  and listening to some good music coming from somewhere off to the left for an hour or so, I turned to my husband and said, "I wonder who's still partying out there. Their music is great but I can't think who, in that direction, would be still rockin' at this time of night."

It was quite dark so I couldn' really see, but I felt his look of disbelief as he responded, "Uhhhh... that's coming out of our bedroom window where I put the TV on the Gold Rock Galaxie station about an hour ago."

Geesh! Good thing I'm not the kind of person who calls the cops on the neighbours when they're noisy - I'da had myself arrested.

Something's Not Right Here

Spoiler Alert: The temperature is in the 30's and I just spent the last two hours cleaning cat sh!t out of my sand box. I'm tired...