Have you ever tried to stop yourself in the midst of an action, knowing full well you intended on carrying it through? I mean more than just trying to stop peeing mid-stream.
I did that yesterday.
My instructions on leaving Day Surgery on Thursday were to "not shower for a few days" and "leave the dressing on." However they gave me two fresh dressings "just in case" I needed them.
After 48 hours the incision was obviously healing cuz, as incisions do, it started to get itchy. I gently rubbed the area to relieve the itch. And each time I did, I couldn't resist "accidentally" hooking my fingernail under the edge of the bandage and giving it a little tug. Because if the tape "fell" off, then I would have no choice but to change the dressing and investigate just what sort of damage had occurred at the hands of the surgeon.
I armed myself with a fresh dressing and my camera and stood topless in front of the bathroom mirror. I managed to get the adhesive picked and peeled away from the "unaffected areas" but when it came to pulling it away from the incision, I lost all colour and I felt nauseous. I was a little woozy.
"Just let it go," I told myself. "Re-apply the tape and forget this insane morbid curiosity."
Of course, I knew the entire time there was no way I was not going to follow through. I even had to sit on the toilet seat for a moment to recompose myself. I told myself that if I passed out and ended up on the floor, it was going to be my drywall contractor that was going to find me half naked, camera in hand, with a black, blue and purple boob that had had the nipple cut nearly off then re-attached. Regardless, I continued to pick away at the adhesive until I was completely exposed.
To be truthful, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting, however there are some things a person just shouldn't see. (I was thankful that I did get stitches rather than the expected staples.)
I was reminded of a time years ago when in the hospital after giving birth, the girl in the bed next to me used a hand mirror to investigate the aftermath of an episiotomy. Her reaction was enough to deter me from doing so for four births. ... sadly, 26 years later, her reaction had faded from my mind.