Oh, Scorvana

I had about 150 customer file folders to go through at work. I needed to take them from their drawer in the cabinet to the desk in the other room. I had to do this in 3 trips.

As I was piling the first batch into my left arm I realized that I was in fact carrying the pile as much with my boob as I was with my arm. For some reason this struck me as funny and I blurted out to the 5 or 6 fellow employees and customers nearby, "If I have to get my left boob cut off, I'll never be able to carry this many folders." For the most part this was met with shocked silence. Except for Nikki, who always has something to say, "Oh, Scorvana. You scare me."

I have no idea where "Scorvana" came from, but that's what most of the girls in the office, including the boss, call me.

A while later, one of my male coworkers called me over to his desk. "Are you really gonna lose one of the twins?" he asked.

He is a huge Edmonton Oilers fan and we are always bantering back and forth about hockey, so my first thought was, "Are there rumours about the Canucks separating the Sedins?" But then I realized he was referring to my earlier comment.

"Oh. Nah. At least I'm not expecting to."

"Oh, okay. I was just gonna say that Beck and I just bought some tubes of play dough. We could make a new breast for you, if you need it."

Now that was funny. I know many would be offended, but I could sense the under tone of serious concern covered up with sarcasm. And I appreciated it.



Surgery to remove my lump is scheduled for Thursday Oct 9. I expect to emerge with an intact boob containing a couple of staples.