Hear! Hear!

My ears are tone deaf, I cannot tell you if one note is higher or lower than another. I cannot pick out all the different instruments or voice parts in a song. But my teeth can distinguish even the most minute sounds from each other.

Sounds make my teeth hurt. I'm not talking about the irritating teeth-on-edge feeling when hearing someone rake their fingernails down a chalkboard. I'm talking pain. And it's often caused by ridiculously simple noises: rubbing the fibres of a cotton ball together, crinkling a bag, or certain tones or instruments if there is music playing.

The weird thing is, it's not consistent. There are certain sounds that will hurt every time I hear them, like dragging a fork across an earthenware plate. (This is why you'll only find Corelle in my kitchen.) But I'll have days when my teeth are feeling sensitive and every sound just seems magnified and painful. Last night was one of those times.

I endured supper during which time my husband and son would allow their fork to touch their plates. Normal procedure, I realize. But it pierced my ear drum like a cannon going off. The sounds of the skates on ice in the hockey game on tv came across my teeth like a dentist drill. When Jed started playing a computer game with background music that I'm sure was made with chalkboards, styrofoam and voices going through puberty, I could take no more. I retreated to my bedroom in search of some silence.

Ahh! That was better. For about 1/2 an hour, until my husband followed me and flicked on the tv. When was the last time you saw a comedy act take place in a kitchen setting where the clanking of dishes was louder than the vocal conversation? There was one on last night.