Kitty Porn.

A number of years back after the cat died and the dog went off to live with Grandma, I swore I'd never have another pet in the house.

Never say never.

Once again we have a cat in the house. An unneutered cat. (or is that 'unspayed'?) And she's in heat.

This is disgusting, offensive and annoying. Almost pornographic.

As if it isn't bizarre enough for her to stick her butt in the air and gyrate herself against every table leg or any other object she can, she jumped on the counter and knocked down the roll of paper towel and attacked it like it was a long lost lover.

I rescued the roll of paper but didn't notice the lone sheet that had been torn off and floated to the floor. A short time later there was the cat laying on the single sheet of paper towel stretched out and looking very much in love. I'm sure if she was able she'da lit up a cigarette.

And there she lay, cuddled to that sheet of paper, for 12 hours. No moaning. No groaning. No mewing and meowing. And no butt in the air. She would not leave the piece of paper towel. I'm not all that familiar with animals in heat, but this was the most bizarre thing I've witnessed in quite a while.

The whole episode has been a bit unsettling and you can be sure she'll be making a trip to the spay and neuter clinic to have her ovaries removed. Perhaps I'll join her. It seems the hospital is never gonna call.