Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Shawn and James, I love you.

I am definitely not the most morally conscious mother on the planet. I do what I gotta do to accomplish what I think is best.

I remember back in the days of Jed and Tyler. (If you don't remember those days, you'll have to wait for the book to come out.) When they were in grade 1 and 2 or so, they both needed a lot of sleep to replenish the enormous amount of energy they expended during the day. I think their only saving grace was that they both did go to sleep quite well when I put them to bed.

On more than one occasion I remember being totally ready for the day to end by 5 pm. So we would eat supper and I'd let the boys go out to play for a while before bed. While they were out, I would go around the house and set all the clocks ahead 1 to 2 hours, then call them in to get ready for bed. Then after they went to bed I'd go through the house resetting the clocks to the correct time. It worked every time.

This could explain why Jed absolutely insists that the microwave clock be set on "Alberta time" and it runs 1 hour fast all the time.

Anyway, over the years I have had occasion to not exactly lie, but manipulate the thought processes of my son to accomplish what needed to happen. ...Okay, I admit, I flat out have to lie sometimes.

The last few weeks have been, um, let's say, not the most pleasant moments of motherhood that I've experienced. It's quite a quandary some days dealing with an adult child, or a child-adult, to know the best way to deal with things. And nine times out of ten, I probably don't choose the "best" way.

However, long story short, my best threat is to offer to find him a new home to live in. I had an occasion to make such an offer last night. Okay, I flat out told him that I had called his social worker and asked her to find a new home for him. It didn't really resolve the problems of the hour, and neither did I fess up to lying.

This morning, he didn't want to get out of bed and shower for his scheduled 9 o'clock appointment. And I was still ticked off from the night before - partly cuz I was awake from 3-5 AM thinking about things.

When he did finally drag his butt out of bed 20 minutes before appointment time, the phone rang. He answered. It was for me. Coincidentally, it was his social worker. GOD BLESS HER.

"What did she want?" he inquired.

I thought about my morals briefly. I pushed them aside, and answered, "She has an apartment lined up for you." Of course I could have just left it at that little white lie, but I opted to carry it to its fullest potential.

"It's with 2 other guys, Shawn and James."

I have no clue where those names came from, they just spilled out of my mouth.

"It's over by Spruceland mall."

My conscience kept telling me to shut up. I ignored it and carried on with my story of how they are ready to take him in at a moments notice....

He freaked out on me. He apologized. He cried. He promised things he will never ever be able to follow through.
...and I felt the power. Ahhhhhh.

Although I didn't spend a lot of time with my son today, the moments we had were good. He even helped bring the groceries in.

Shawn and James, I love you. And I can see you will be a regular part of our lives from this day forward.


Diva M said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Your maternal Grandmother would have done the same. You remind me of her. That's a compliment.

elzee said...

I hear that occasionally, and I do consider it a compliment. I recently witnessed my maternal grandfather sitting across the table from me weeping for how much I reminded him of his mother.

I used to feel old when I realized I was turning into my mother ... now how am I supposed to feel that I'm turning in my grandmother, and great-grandmother? ... honoured, I suppose.

Anonymous said...

And for the way you think, I thank you.

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