When Sadness Comes On Top of Sadness

For ten years Vivian Lake was our special place. It wasn't our 'getaway,' it was more of a feeling of 'coming home' when we were out there. A simpler life. One of cooking over a fire, peeing in a pail and being entertained by watching the sun go down. All with a side of music on the iPhone and occasional Facebook log-ins to keep us connected with reality. And crowned with wine. Too much wine usually.

Of course we had no idea that our last weekend out at the cabin, October 13th, would be our last weekend out at the cabin.

My intentions were to keep the cabin. To hang out there. Spend some time grieving and saying goodbye and just soaking in the atmosphere. To be honest, I don't know how much time I'd actually spend there but I just know I'd like some time for closure.

But sometimes sadness comes on top of sadness.

The landlords have decided it's not in the best interest of their own family to open any of the resort property this year. So I need to have the cabin cleaned out and trailer removed by the May Long. (Of course this will be weather dependant and they will graciously work with that if it's a long winter/spring) I, personally, am hoping and praying for an early spring so I can have a couple of weeks with the snow gone and ice off the water. I really feel like I need some time there.

I've known for two and half weeks, but couldn't bring myself to talk about it before this weekend. It's like a whole 'nother dimension of grief for me. But in the spirit of gratitude, I'm glad I have four months to process it all in my mind before moving day arrives.

Just looking at photos conjures up the smells and sounds and feelings of overall wellness that fill my heart. 

To be fair, I must acknowledge that I hold no ill will or bad feelings to the property owners, they are completely entitled to make decisions that are best for their own lives/family. I am truly grateful for the time we had.