For all that was...

Today was a day I've known was coming but I wasn't really looking forward to. And while it was hard, it was also kinda therapeutic. 

It was official "Closet-clean Day."

I didn't really intend for it to be closet day today. It just sort of happened. It all started when I hauled all my swimwear out to try on and narrow down which ones would be coming to Maui with me next month. I am determined to pack about 25% of what I overpacked last time. (Mostly because I won't have Albert's suitcase to pack half my crap in.)

I got piles of stuff out of my side of the closet and had no idea how I was going to stuff it all back in, when I had the bright idea that if I cleaned out A's side of the closets I could spread out a little and it would look like I owned less stuff. And so began my day... 

I'd already given bags of t-shirts, jeans and socks to the boys but his closet was still full. And it wasn't all clothes. Oh the papers I sorted today. 

Now, I would defy you to recall a time in past 37 years when I have trash-talked my husband. It's something I just didn't do. And I still won't. But Oh.Em.Gee.  He was a bit of a hoarder. I admit some of it stems from the fact that he was considerably more sentimental than I am.  However, I did find myself being somewhat sentimental today as I sorted through every birthday card I ever gave him. Every little coupon book the kids made for him in elementary school - I think I'll cash in on the bazillion free carwashes and special suppers that were promised and never taken to task.  Some are quite hilarious: 

Free meal from Brandi - draws a turkey and offers 'bacon on bread'.  :) 

Jed will not whine, nor will he pick his scabs.

Ken will... well... he will wash the truck, what else could it mean? 

I found little notes he typed to me on an old ribbon-style typewriter we had back in the 80's. "HappLianaversary Babe. Forgot to tell you I took tonight off. Gone logging." was my favourite. I actually remember finding that note on the counter early on the morning of January 23, 1987 after I woke up and discovered he had come home from working 12 hours at the mill then headed off to the 90 acres we had at the time and were in the midst of logging the trees off.  

I found a stash of old Compact Flash cards and 3 1/2" floppy disks that, thank God, I do not even have a means to view. But I know they are from our original digital camera from over 20 years ago. And I know what's on them. 

He had a pile of every single Canfor pay stub since they started direct deposit in 2003. Yes. Every.Single.One. I didn't actually count them, but there are 390 pay days in 15 years. 

Have you ever wondered what 15 years of pay stubs looks like? 

There are CD's. Oh, there are CD's.  Boxes and boxes of CD's. Who knew Chris Tomlin had 945 CDs? I've got 'em all. He did digify (that's not a word, but it should be) them all onto a mem-stick. I'll keep the mem-stick but the CDs have to go. 

Albert rarely wore shorts. He owned about 42 pair. About half still have the tags on them. I'm fairly confident he didn't actually purchase a single pair, so I kinda have to take some blame here. 

And "Canada" t-shirts. Again, I take responsibility for every single purchase. But, my goodness.... 

So today was a bit overwhelming. It was hard. But it was good. Gosh, I have had a good life and I owe pretty much all of it to the amazing man that God saw fit to partner me with. I am so very grateful for all that was. For all that is. For all that is still to come.