My doctor is an idiot.

idiot id·i·ot (ĭd'ē-ət)
n.
A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.

Word Origin & History

idiot 
c.1300, "person so mentally deficient as to be incapable of ordinary reasoning," from O.Fr. idiote "uneducated or ignorant person," from L. idiota "ordinary person, layman," in L.L. "uneducated or ignorant person," from Gk. idiotes "layman, person lacking professional skill," lit. "private person," used patronizingly for "ignorant person," from idios "one's own" (see idiom).

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While calling my family physician an idiot may fall under offensive classification, and to be honest I think his mental age is probably marginally higher than that of a three year old, but may I suggest that the origin of the word "to be incapable of ordinary reasoning" rings true.

As I stated earlier, I needed to renew my EI paperwork with medical evidence.

The doctor walks into the examining room where I was sitting on a chair waiting for him. He has his trusty prescription pad in one hand and a pen in the other.

"What can I do for you today?" he asks as he positions his pen to write out a request for drugs.

 "I don't need drugs. I'd just like you to sign my EI papers now that I have a scheduled date from the hospital. I will be having my hysterectomy on October 29th," I reply.

He glanced at the paper then at the calendar and says, "Okay let's set your return date for November 25."

"Um, doctor... that's not even four weeks. The surgeon has recommended seven to eight weeks."

"Oh no. We always only schedule four weeks for surgery recovery. That's all it takes for an incision to heal."

I went on to remind him I was getting a full hysterectomy - ovaries and all, and it was an abdominal incision, not laparoscopic nor vaginal,  enabling the surgeon to inspect my other organs.

In the end he was generous and gave me until November 30th. "If you really feel like you cannot go back to work at that time, we can re-evaluate a resubmit the claim." I interpreted this to mean, "I know you will still be in recovery, but if I have to sign my name one more time I can get another 20 bucks out of you."

With the long weekend coming up, I really didn't want to play any more games, I just wanted to get my paper work sent off so I paid my 20 bucks, took my paper and left. I'll get the surgeon to resubmit at a later date.

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