I went for a routine female exam with my doctor whom I've had for over 20 years. The receptionist had a hard time finding my file. Apparently I was filed with the dead people due to lack of activity.
I'm not dead yet. But by the flurry of activity that took place once my blood pressure was taken, you'd think it won't be long now. My doctor normally takes the "just leave it alone, you'll grow out of it" attitude whenever possible when treating things. So when he read my bp and scheduled me for every blood, organ and cell test known to man, you can be sure that if my bp wasn't high enough to start with, it was by the time he finished.
He then proceeds with the task at hand.
"Umm. I can't find your cervix."
He removes the tool the nurse had nicely warmed up in a bowl of hot water and inserts some other object he found in a draw full of ice or something. After he dug around for a while and just about the point I thought he was going to reach for a miner's lamp or something, I said, "`Scuse me doc ... just how does one go about losing their cervix?" He laughed. And then apparently found what he was looking for.
I should really try to make my annual visits once a year instead of once a decade. Getting old sucks, but beats the alternative, I suppose.