Okay. So the kids want a Medieval wedding complete with a pig roast. It sounds like fun. I'm carnivorous and the thought of eating from a whole pig doesn't bother me. Even having the head as a centerpiece is alright with me.
However, I have never cooked a full-bodied animal. So it's Google to the rescue. (I seriously wonder how we learned things before the days of Google.) I found a few good sites that detail the procedure. I learned from someone else's bad experience that rigor mortis sets in a few hours after butchering. One thing you do not want to do is store the pig in a new garbage can filled with ice. This will give you a pig on a stick with it's legs splayed and the head peering backwards over its shoulder. You must place it into a neat position before nature takes its solidifying course. I find this information hilarious, yet useful.
Other information I found very useful was not so funny: After butchering you must clean out the nostrils, ears and butt hole. Somehow this takes the novelty out of the whole episode. I started to think that a couple of large pork roasts on a stick would be just as tasty.
Then... I was talking to Brandi on the phone the other night and Kore, from the background, shouted that he'd be willing to cook the pig. Perhaps he was just trying to score brownie points with me, but I called him a "Good Boy" and I plan to take him up on the offer. And by "cooking" I'll assume he means "dressing and preparing" as well.
Bring your largest Q-tips, Kore. You've got a big job ahead of you.
Okay I wrote this blog yesterday and now, today, I have another comment:
I just finished watching "Ed's Up"- the show hosted by Ed Robertson from Bare Naked Ladies. He was touring a pig butchering plant. OMG. I will definitely be buying a pig that's already to go on a stick.