If Push Came to Shove...

Toilet Paper...

What did they use to wipe their butts 200 years ago? 2000 years ago?

I've been known to consider bizarre thoughts before. This is one of them.

I've thunk this thought before, but it was renewed today as I was checking out at Costco. I was purchasing a grand total of three things: heavy whipping cream, almond flour and a pair of yoga leggings.

The cream I was buying so I could make alfredo for supper tomorrow for my DIL's birthday dinner.

 The leggings were because I bought a pair last week in a different colour for $12.99 and loved them.

The almond flour was purchased even though I have an unopened bag in my pantry.

As I passed the display of almond flour at the end of an aisle (even though it wasn't actually on sale) I thought, "I'm going to Maui in 72 hours. What if some sort of Corona Virus crisis happens and I end up in insolation when I return. I want to be able to make bread and pizza dough and other assorted keto products while I live in isolation."

It was a rare occasion, but I had entered Costco without a cart. I generally know better. You cannot shop Costco and carry your purchases in your arms.

As I am standing in line with my 3 items in my arms, I noticed that I am the only one in line, out of all 12 lineups, without a cart. I am also the only one without a giant case of toilet  paper.

And me heart almost stops.

Oh, shit.

What if Corona puts me into isolation? I will not starve. I will be able to make lots of buns and pizza. I even have a few months supply of wine.  But I will need to wipe my butt! This is a complete oversight on my part here.

Then I remember the supply of flannelette I inherited from my mother seven years ago. I mentally calculate that I probably could make 6 months of toilet paper with squares of flannel. This could be an eternal supply if I'm willing to wash are reuse.

Yeah, I think I could do that if push came to shove.

(If you have wine and/or cheese to barter for flannel toilet paper... gimme a shout.)