Today was a Cry Day.

It's been a while since I've had a "Cry Day."  There were many in the beginning.

There were even many during the ending.

And to be sure, I have cried on many days since.

But it's been a while since I've had a day filled with cry episodes. If I wasn't post-menopausal (thanks to cancer and surgery, for surely I am not THAT old 😀)  I'd probably blame it on pms.

I  awoke at 5:45 this morning, which is more regular than not, but I decided I would make a coffee and take it back to bed. On the way back I glanced and noticed Albert's phone sitting on the charging station. I grabbed it and decided I'd peruse through his photos and videos. A job that's been on my to-do list for 9 months so that I can save, back-up and do whatever else is necessary so I can cancel his iCloud account and maybe sell his phone.

So yeah, my cry day started shortly thereafter.

Some tears were tears of grief. Some were tears of joy. Some were just tears. Like memories and love leaking out of my eyes and flowing down my cheeks.

It was fun to see photos from his perspective of events that I also have photos and memories of. And I  cry.

It was fun to see his memories of events I didn't record, some I didn't even witness. And I cry.

Holy Jesus, he was a character, wasn't he?? And I cry.

I am so overcome with gratitude and amazement that this incredible human chose me to be his partner in life that it makes it hard for me to be angry that his life was cut so short. And I cry.

Me! He picked me.

And I cry.

And I smile.

My Albert was such a blessing. Truly he was.  And he intentionally made it so.

This is his phone:

He loved his phone and the connection it gave him to so many people, many of whom he rarely, if ever, had met in person.

He had a little handwritten note on the back of his phone to remind himself to always give a positive word when using his phone. This is actually quite impressive, coming from possibly one of the most sarcastic people on the face of the planet.

Anyway, I just want to share a few things I encountered on his phone today that blessed me, made me cry, made me laugh and made me grateful...

Hugging Mommy goodbye one last time. <3 nbsp="" td="">

Our last kayak paddle.  In Sept 2018 explored the "island" at Vivian lake for the only time in our 10 years at the lake. 

Quality time with his Little Buddy Xander walking to Goat Island in October

We stayed close to home and did our own pumpkin patch with the kidlets. Haha - Bea's version of "bunny ears."    

Maeve entertains with the violin. The kidlets were his greatest joy. <3 nbsp="" td="">

Bea and Daffers build a snowman and name it "Papa."

My sick sense of humour saw the irony in watching the Papa snowman waste away.  

Rocky Harbour Newfoundland. Iconic. 

He read that book dozens of times to Daphne. It was always Xander's favourite book too. 

Typical. Wanting to occupy the back seat but even so is the leader. 

 

His phone fell facedown so there is no video. But this is his last session in the music room.