Closed for the Season

This season is closed.

I'm sure eventually I will have a blog post that doesn't start with the opening line "Today was a hard day..."

It's been about 11 years since we first set foot on the property at Vivian Lake while in search for a location for Ken and Jade's fantastical medieval wedding. And I knew from the first greeting we received from Arlene and Brian that this was a place we could call "home."

To be sure, it was nothing fancy. But I am not fancy folk. But it was a place of beauty and quiet and calm and respite. And we have taken advantage of it with grateful hearts ever since.

However, the property was purchased from Arlene three years ago and the current owners have decided to discontinue public use of their property. They are completely entitled to this decision and I hold no ill will toward them. (We had every opportunity to purchase the property had we wanted to be the ones to call the shots.)

So today was moving day.

It's amazing  how much stuff one can accumulate in a small 20x20 cabin over time. But more than 'stuff' I have accumulated memories. Many many incredible memories.

Packing up, I managed to reduce the 'stuff'  I hauled home to 4 chairs, 2 Rubbermaid containers of odds 'n sods and a yard train made of logs with a chainsaw.

But the memories are immeasurable.

I am so grateful for the help and support I received today in cleaning everything up and hauling stuff away. If you were a part of this, you know who you are, and please accept my love and gratitude. And I must acknowledge that Arlene, the original owner, came out for a while. What a huge blessing that was and shows you just why we fell in love with her and the property in the first place.

I stayed at the cabin for a while after everyone else left today to "just be," take some photos and empty the piss-pail one last time. And yeah, I cried. Sobbed even.

It was hard to drive away for the final time.

I took one last photo as I stopped to close the gate behind me.  "Closed for the Season" were the words on the sign at the gate. My heart and mind registered the words as "This Season is Closed."

And truly I believe this is so.

I have faced many changes and challenges in this past five and a half months since saying goodbye to my Albert, my partner, my caregiver, my sustenance, my all. I have taken many steps in moving forward in my new reality. But I will never "move on." For surely everything I ever do will be rooted in the life we shared since I was 15 years old. But by the grace of God I can move forward.

For now it is my intention to keep the house and enjoy the huge blessing of being in a position where my husband continues to take care of me, even in his death.

In the past couple of weeks I have sold the sideXside and the hot tub, and my gracious and generous son Ken has helped to clean out and organize the shop and my garage.  I am trying not to make too many rash decisions, especially in this first year of grief, but I believe it has been a good and healthy purge of stuff.

And so, coinciding with the coming of spring - a melting of snow to uncover new growth and fresh life, I move forward and view the "This Season is Closed" sign in my rearview mirror.  And hope to God my internal GPS steers me in the direction I need to go.