Make the most of your days folks...

Oh, I don't even know where to begin. 

Today was a day unlike any other. 

May 4 is my Mama's birthday. So in and of itself it is always a day with emotional impact for me. I miss her and I acknowledge and thank God for her incredible influence on my life. 

But May 4, 2019 was a day that hit me like a tonne of bricks wrapped in a hug. Or is that a hug wrapped in a shitload of bricks.

My lease is up and I have to be out of the cabin at Vivian Lake by the May Long. 

I chose today as my first day back to assess things, get the papers from the trailer so it can be insured before removal after 6 years, and spend some time just being.  Next Saturday I will bring a crew and actually do the final clean up and move.

Turns out most of the regular seasonal people were also there today cleaning up and saying goodbye to this lake front property we have been blessed with this past decade or so. I was grateful to connect with them briefly and exchange hugs one last time. 

But I also felt slightly guilty as I sat at my fire pit drinking wine and just soaking, while the rest of the folk scurried about cleaning up their sites. I plan for next weekend to be my time of scurrying. Today was a day of reflection for me. 

Oh my goodness, I am so grateful. Grateful that we had 7 amazing years in this cabin. Well, really 10 summers since Ken and Jade's most incredible wedding introduced us to this place. 

Sometimes one can't help but think "if only I knew." 

If only I knew that 2018 was my last year with my Albert. My last year with our cabin. My last.....  

If only... 

But usually it's good that we don't pre-know these things. So our memories consist of real moments and real joys and real life instead of contrived things we might be inclined to make up just to make the most of the time we have.  

The real lesson here is to make the most of the time you have because ... because...because. 

No words. Just because. Make the most of your moments folks. Make the most of your moments. 

I'm sure I had more to say but this post just winded down on me. Just make the most of your days my friends, make the most of your days. 

Picked up my Vanderhoof dinner jacket from the cabin today. It smells like campfire smoke.  It looks like redneck. And it's cozy and warm and feels like memories wrapped in a hug.  I may never wash it. 

I cannot even describe this.
I arrived at the cabin for the first time since Albert's death and our flag was flying at half-mast.  Seriously. I cannot even remotely explain it. This has never happened in all the years we have occupied this site and maintained this flagpole. 

Hot dogs!  It's been 7 months or so since I had a hot dog, but it seems to fit the bill today. Soooo yummy. 

 

Finally! For the first time. After all these years I have gotten the grass to grow around the campfire.  An accomplishment to be grateful for none-the-less. 

So amazing to have the loons come in close to acknowledge me and say goodbye.  They don't usually show up until closer to the end of May. 

This. 

I'll miss that little clump of trees affectionately known as the Kardashians (because they don't really do anything but somehow always end up in our photos) I will pack the "train track" home and assemble the train in my front flower garden. 

So rustic. So comfy. So home.  I crawled into our bed and had a wee cry, a wee nap and a wee  goodbye this afternoon. 

Oh Vivian.  Oh my heart.