Grateful For My Ridiculous Life

As of today, September 28, 2019 I am 19,997 days old. I lived 13,887 of them with Albert. It's been 10 months, or 304 days since I began learning to live without him. The learning curve has been huge. I had never adulted without him, being that I was 15 years old when we started dating.

Essentially, we grew up together. And oh my goodness we made so many stupid decisions in those nearly fourteen thousand days. We wasted so much time. So many dollars. So many opportunities. We neglected loved ones, our responsibilities and each other. But we forged on.

One can always look back with regret, but I refuse to. (For the most part.) I challenge myself daily to look forward with gratitude. Gratitude for the memories. Gratitude for the occasional smart decisions we made. For the good times. And even gratitude for the ability to laugh at some of the ridiculous stuff.

We had a lot of ridiculous stuff.

We used to laugh at my Dad insisting my curfew was 11pm because "Girls get pregnant after 11."  Apparently that can happen before 11.

There was that time we laid in bed and smoked a fat Cuban cigar. Oh my word! That was the stupidest thing. The house stunk for weeks. I had to wash all the bedding and all of the towels in the ensuite linen closet. As well as most of the clothes in the closet.

And the time we left baby B with Grandma and Grandpa so we could go out for the evening. And we just never came home. Seriously. I just know I would be (and have been) completely judgmental of anyone else ever doing this.

That time when I left baby B with Daddy and went away for the weekend while we lived in what was essentially a tiny home - I think it was 20x15, and came home to find Albert had bought a pool table and put it in the main room. You had to stand on the couch to take your shot.

Baby Brandi had to play ON the pool table because there was no room on the floor. 

We lived in an apartment for the first 9 months of marriage (before moving into the tiny house which, for the record, had no indoor bathroom) Around month 5 when B was a couple of weeks old (Yeah, you can do the math) Albert lost his driver's licence for 3 months due to an excessive amount of points, entirely due to speeding tickets. I'm not even sure if they still do points on licenses - I've never been stopped. (Not for lack of trying.) Anyway, here I am dragging my newborn infant out of bed to drive him to work at 6am (or pick him up if he was on 12-hr nightshift.) She didn't actually have a carseat so I found it convenient to hold her, attached to the boob, while I drove. If I didn't actually experience this with my own life, I would honestly find some of these details hard to believe.

Then, within a few weeks, my older brother also lost his driver's licence, due to irresponsible driving habits, so we decided what the hell, he might as well move into the apartment with us because that would make it more convenient for him to ride his bike to work. (The more I think about it, the more I realize what a FRIGGING AMAZING 17-year-old wife I was. Or a fool. You decide.)

Anyway, Albert decided he felt bad making me drag the baby out to drive him to work so he also bought a 2nd hand bike to ride to work. But he didn't like the colour. So he spray painted it. IN THE LIVING ROOM of the apartment. He did put down a few sheets of newspaper but when all was said and done you could clearly see an outline of royal blue paint on the brown carpet.

I was so fricking glad not to have to get up and drive him to work I laughed it off.

When we gave our notice on the apartment a couple of months later we needed to get rid of the paint pattern on the carpet. So we washed it with paint thinners. And then vacuumed it up with the new $1300 Electrolux vacuum cleaner we had been sucked into buying a couple of months prior - which is another story altogether. Uh yeah. This resulted in a dead, D.E.D dead, vacuum cleaner. And I still loved that man. Truly, I deserve a medal.

To conserve energy on his bike rides to work, he would 'hitch' a ride with co-workers. When he met up with someone on the pulp mill road he would grab onto their mirror or window ledge so they could 'tow' him the last few kilometres into the mill. I truly hope and trust that the guardian angels assigned to Albert Ziemer have received their full reward in heaven.

Honestly, my 'stupid' stories are endless. But our love was endless. And it still is.

And I am so grateful for my ridiculous life.

Childishly Immature? Or Agedly Senile?

Nancy. Her name is Nancy. Cuz she's so fancy.

I've had a few inquiries as to what I have named my new trailer. She's not exactly a vehicle but I've been expected to give her a name none-the-less.

I tossed around a few names but nothing seemed to fit. I sort of wanted a name that I could shorten to Freddie, like Winifred or Frederica, so I could have Freddie and Frankie (which I call Francesca, my car, whenever I pull out to pass someone ... "C'mon Frankie, we can do this.") But somehow those names just didn't fit.

But "Fancy" is a word I've heard from just about everyone who has visited her so far, and Fancy and Nancy just go together.

My next top pick was Pa'u Hana. (Pronounced Pow Hauna) This is a Hawaiian word literally meaning "work is done" but often used as a term meaning "Happy Hour."  Fitting for sure. But it just didn't have the right flow to it.  So Nancy it is.

However, let me introduce you to Pa'u Hana:

Pa'u Hana. 22-inch beagle who doesn't eat or poop. Won't grow or shed.  Doesn't bark or scratch & chew furniture. 

Introducing the dog to the cats, Oreo and Esmeralda. They get along famously. 

I'm not sure if I'm being childishly immature, or agedly senile. But I love my little stuffy zoo who keep me company at the lake. I've managed to spend 4 of the last 7 nights out there. And most nights I have the lake to myself. With my pretend pets, of course.

I will try to squeeze one more night in before winterizing on the weekend. Because I love the sound of rain on the roof :D

A-camping I Will Go, A-camping I Will Go...

Crrrrreeaaaak! That's the sound of a stretching budget.

So I posted two days ago about looking for a new-to-me travel trailer to park on my newly leased lake lot.  It was less that 24 hours later and I found my new seasonal home. I fell in love with her the moment I saw the photos.

And I bought her without even seeing her. How crazy is that hey.

And then I had to scramble around trying to find a ride home for her... from Shuswap Lake!

I've been looking around for a few weeks, but not terribly seriously because at that point I hadn't actually secured a lot. I was just gathering info and learning what kind of pricing to expect and checking out different layouts.

And to be sure, in my research I changed my mind on a few things that I thought I wanted and started wanting other things that I didn't realize I would want. It was a fun little exercise. And September is a great time of year to be looking.

After posting 2 days ago, I had a number of people share links and offer various deals. Thanks everyone!

I went and looked at a number of trailers and had a few strong contenders, but it was nice that I didn't feel pressure to find something right away - not before April really.

Then yesterday morning I came across this 2014 beauty for sale. And within the hour (maybe two) I had bought her, sight unseen. I hope I don't regret it, but I'm feeling pretty comfortable it was the right thing to do.

And she checked everything on the list with the exception of an outdoor kitchen. And that was listed as a bonus item. And to be honest, I don't know for sure she doesn't have one, but I don't think so. I'll forgive her.

I actually have a real sense of Albert's blessing. (And I didn't always even look for that when spending money when he was right here beside me. haha) And with the way everything seems to be coming together with coincidental timing and all that, I suspect Jesus is standing beside him cheering me on and opening doors and gates. I'm quite excited. Can ya tell?

She not only maxed the budget, she maxed in length at 32 feet. 

Wipe clean furniture! Good thing cuz it's plenty white. 

How's that for a camping kitchen. And that TV... it rotates 180 degrees so you can watch from outside. Not that TV is big in my life, but a cool feature none-the-less. Albert would have loved it as a 42" music book.

I really like the dining table rather than fold-down bench seating.  Can't wait to put flowers on the table. 

Maybe I will just sell my house.  :D  

So excited. And feeling very very blessed. 

Widow, yes. Cougar, no.

I'm actually quite afraid of water, and I don't know how to swim. So I don't like to actually get wet, however, I love the water. Staring out over a lake, in any weather conditions, has the power to affect me to my very soul. And the ocean. Well, she takes it to another level yet. Yes, I love a good water view.

Albert and I were very much on the same page in this regard, although he did know how to swim. We loved our little spot at Vivian Lake and spent many many hours sitting by the fire watching the water.

It was my intention to keep the cabin lease for at least another year so I had some time for closure and  to just see how it went. But the owners of the property decided to take things in a different direction and all of the seasonal residents were given our notice to have our things cleared out by the end of May.

And yes, I was sad. I don't think I was angry. And I wasn't surprised.

But as they say, all things work together for the good...

Because honestly, I don't think that I could have spent much time out there without him. And once I got everything cleared out, I don't actually think I would take the cabin back even if it were offered to me.

But I miss the water. And our rainy summer doesn't count - even though I do in fact love the rain.

Anyway, in August I put my name on a waiting list to get a site at Bednesti Lake Resort. I was the 16th name on the list. So I just left it in the hands of God and decided I would be chill whatever happened. (Meanwhile, I kept one eye and one ear open for other waterfront possibilities... cuz y'know, that's how we usually trust God.)

But the fact is, I had never actually even been to Bednesti Resort before, so I decided to take a little drive and scope things out so that the next time I spoke with Bernie, the owner, I'd at least have a vague idea of what he was talking about. It's a few kilometres farther (in the opposite direction) than Vivian Lake, but it's all highway driving so is in fact quicker to get to from my home.

When I drove through the gate (I had an insider let me in... thank you, Brenda.) Bernie was there working on some equipment. Brenda informs me this is the first time this year she has actually seen him onsite, so it was 'good timing.'

"You know," he says, "I just had a site come up. It has a bit of water view, but it's not fantastic, but if you want it, it's yours. But I actually have another site in mind for you as I know you said a water view was important to you. But if you want to take this one and get your foot in the door, I will quite likely have a more ideal spot for you before April."

I whipped out my phone and made an e-transfer. He gave me the code to the gate. And I'm in! Sorry to all the other 15 on the waiting list. I guess it's all in the timing. And Who you know.

But alas, I gave away my trailer and most of my camping stuff in May.

Which, finally, brings me around to the point of this post.  I am looking for a new home away from home to park on my newly acquired lake lot. And I figure September is a better time to buy than April.

So, if you have any leads for a travel trailer, here's my ideal check list:

-25-29 feet long (but I will entertain the thought of up to 32ft)
-At least one slide out
-Air conditioning
-Prefer a bumper pull, but will consider a 5th wheel if it checks all the other boxes, since I have to beg, borrow or steal someone to tow it out there either way.
-Electric awning
-Preferably newer than 2010
-Outdoor kitchen would be a bonus
-Ideally a unit with a large window in the back and bedroom with walk around bed in front.
-My budget is around $15,000. Less would be lovely. However, I don't actually have anyone to keep my budget in check. Except maybe Jimmy, but I'm pretty good at silencing him.
-It cannot be "Cougar" brand. They do make lovely, lovely quality trailers, but seriously, I just can't entertain the thought of being a 54-year-old widow with the giant word "Cougar" written across the front of her sleeping quarters. Nope. Just can't do it.  (Would be kinda funny though.)

I'm not desperate enough for this yet.