100 Days

For 100 days I have been putting one foot in front of the other and marching along into a future I did not plan.

To be honest, I don't know where, why or how I'll get to where I'm going but I am determined to keep moving along. And while it may appear on the outside that I'm stepping one foot in front of the other, often it feels more like I'm a fish who's just been released from a hook and landed on the beach and flip-flopping wildly around hoping to land 'anywhere but here.' But I will continue to fake it till I make it.

Grieving is a weird thing. On one hand you want the pain to go away, and yet at the same time you want to revel in it. As if somehow pain can give more validation to the love you have.

How many gazillion times have you heard 1Thes 5:18? In everything give thanks...

Thank God it doesn't say "give thanks for everything." Because I'm fairly certain that I could not do. There are many things I simply cannot be thankful for.

However, I am able to be thankful in every circumstance. Yes, my head is able to bring to my consciousness things I am grateful for even in the midst of a shit-storm.  And somehow acknowledging gratefulness is able to bring a spark of joy to even the most downcast heart.

Today was a hard day. But even so, I am grateful for much.

Albert and I had so many adventures together. I am truly grateful for each of them.