Sadness Redeemed.

 November 11th. Remembrance Day here in Canada.

And remember I do, each and every year. 

I appreciate and honour every person who has supported, fought for, and defended our country, and brought peace and healing to the nations. But I remember more than that on November 11th. 

It was on this day in 1985 that death entered my world in a big way for the first time.  As a 20-year-old mother, my five month old son was suddenly and shockingly ripped from my life. 

(In 2011 I was taking an online writing course in which I had to write a memoir with the theme "Funeral." You can read that piece HERE. )

Today, 39 years later, I lay in bed  "lallygagging" and drinking coffee, as is our usual morning custom. Being that it is November 11 I was a little more contemplative than normal. 

I considered all the loss I have endured in my life. There has been a lot. 

My most recent heart wrenching loss was my diamond tennis bracelet that Jim bought me after I said, "I don't want a diamond engagement ring. I just want a three-stranded wedding ring that will speak for itself representing Ecclesiastes 4:12. "A three stranded cord is not easily broken." 

About a month ago I realized my tennis bracelet was missing. 

My heart cried. My stomach wanted to vomit. 

I retraced my steps and contacted all the places I thought I might have been. 

No success in recovering my diamonds. 

I prayed.  "Jesus, you KNOW where these diamonds are. Please, I beg of you, just tell me." 

All I heard was "Pocket." 

I searched every pocket of every pair of pants and every jacket that I own. Even those I haven't worn for months. 

Jim and I both scoured my art studio top to bottom. He cleaned my car. (that in itself was almost worth a $3200 bracelet.) The couch cushions were investigated. We even looked under mattresses and in the "pockets" of any fitted sheets. No go. 

I decided to just leave it be. 

Perhaps one day, when least expected, it would show up.

Maybe next July when my friends Gaylene and Tom return after an extended time in Hawaii, and then relocate to Squamish, will unpack their boxes and find my bracelet had dropped into one of their boxes while I helped them pack. 

I also imagined that maybe somewhere, someone in a desperate situation found my bracelet and acknowledged the diamonds as a gift from God. 

I lay this morning, on Remembrance Day, sipping coffee, scrolling my phone for memories, seeing baby Ben, seeing photos of Albert's health failing in 2018,  and remembering... 

I've had extreme loss...

But I cannot consider my extreme losses without also acknowledging my extreme blessings. 

God has been faithful. 

I got out of bed this morning juxtaposed with my losses and blessings.

I acknowledge my devastating losses.

I am so grateful for my here-and-now blessings.  

One of my daily blessings is our incredible walk-in shower. 

After my shower today I proceeded to empty my travel bag. I needed my blow dryer and eyeliner. 

We had travelled to Burns Lake to visit dear friends this weekend. 

I opened the "pocket" in the travel bag. 

The sparkle that caught my eye was intoxicating. 

There in the bottom of the pocket of our utility bag lay my diamonds! 

HALLEJULAH!     

One month ago I had obviously dropped them into that pocket when we travelled to Chilliwack and Kamloops  while picking up Jed after his summer away working. 

My day of sadness has been redeemed!