Getting past the one-year of widowhood anniversary was a giant leap for me. Well, calling it a leap is a bit of a stretch. I don't know that I really have the words to explain it. For a year I sort of felt like a freight train lumbering along, but with its brakes on - still moving forward but creaking and groaning and grinding along.
I was resisting arriving at the anniversary and what I perceived it symbolized. Not that I had any control over it arriving, it was coming in 365 days whether I was ready or not.
But I do feel like this lumbering freight train is emerging from a long dark tunnel. Like I've been released from merely surviving into a season of reviving. And I am hopeful to once again thrive. And I have no doubt I will.
I have so much to be grateful for. My husband took very good care of me for 37 years and he ensured that will continue. I have so many fantastic memories - both the good and the bad, and the legacy of our children sustains me daily. I know Jesus walks with me, carrying me when necessary, and even giving me the occasional perverbial slap upside the head. I have some really great friends and I have things in my life that give me purpose. Onward and upward, I say.
I've been a bit lax in blogging but figured since it is once again the 28th I should just sit down and do it.
And being the 28th of December, it is my birthday. Freedom 55 they say. Fricking old I say. It really struck me yesterday when I was filling out some sort of online form. I had to check off my age. I was so excited that (for the last time) I could check off 45-54 as my category. Today I entered the 55+ group. Yikes! It's not even 55-64. Nope. Just 55+. I'm now in the same age group as the 80 year-olds.
Oi. How am I supposed to thrive under these conditions.
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2 comments:
I remember when I turned 55. My big sister, your mom, said to me”always ask for the senior discount, you never know”
I'm laughing, " thriving with the 80 year olds!" Not quite, being that is my age group, although most days I feel about 65 years. Yes, still old, but I'm often told I'm not like most 80 year olds! Whatever 80 year old folk are suppose to act like. Enjoy each year; we all know what the alternative is! Again happy birthday Liana! 🎉☕️🎉🍷🎉🎂💞
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